In all areas of life, the biggest fear plaguing the population is fear of failure. Each and every day, we get stopped in our tracks because of our fears – whether it is applying for a promotion or starting the business that we dream of. One way of eliminating these fears is to build confidence.
Too often we hold back from embracing the many opportunities that are before us because we lack confidence. When we lack confidence we have doubts and when we have doubts we are unable to move forward and end up feeling stuck. Do you remember the last time you felt on top of the world? When was the last time you felt ready to take on whatever the world had to throw at you! If it feels as is if too many opportunities are passing you buy is time to build your confidence.
The following 7 easy to follow tips will help you to build confidence in all areas of your life:
Ask “What’s the worst that could happen?”
Become mindful of the thoughts that you are having. When you fail to manage your mind it is easy to let your fears overtake your thoughts. You start imagining things not in realistic terms, but in improbable terms of what might happen. When you really ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” you can get a realistic picture of potential consequences, which turn out to be less dire than first thought.
Look at ‘failure’ differently
The most successful people respond differently to failure. They don’t take failure personally. With failure, they look at what they can learn from the experience. They see failure as just feedback on what they need to work on so that they will do better the next time. Be open to the learning that failure affords you. As Henry Ford said “Failure is just the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”
Set realistic expectations
Are you being a perfectionist or setting your expectations too high? Are these expectations unobtainable, conflicting or competing? This will make you pessimistic as you continually fail to meet your goals and targets. Or are you under-estimating your potential? Spend some time now thinking about your strengths and weaknesses – think about your personality and character traits and what you can offer – then approach your goals with a clear sense of what is achievable.
Stop comparing yourself to others
You come with unique experiences that no-one else has. Stop trying to be somebody else and embrace who you are. It is time to celebrate your uniqueness. Instead of focusing on negatives think about your experiences and what differentiates you from others. Be yourself, focus on your strengths and how you have grown and overcome the many obstacles in your life.
Surround yourself with positive people
It is said that we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. Are your peers bringing you down and negatively impacting your confidence levels? When you surround yourself with positive people you tend to think and act more positively yourself. In short, if you want to be confident surround yourself with confident people. If you want to be successful surround yourself with successful people. If you want to be happy surround yourself… etc. Look to engage with those that will empower, support and encourage you to succeed.
Change your Vocabulary
The language you use on a daily basis can have a big impact on your emotional state. The negative language you use when speaking to others or when engaged in self-talk trains your sub-conscious mind to believe it is true and as a result to act on that belief.
Are you regularly using words like “I can’t,” “I won’t,” “I’ll never… ” “I’m stuck,” “I don’t know?”
Next time you use these words notice how you feel – be aware of the emotions that are evoked.
Instead of saying “I’ll never…” say something like “I’ll find a way to…” or “I’ll work it out.”
Rather than saying “I can’t…” or “I’ll try to…” say “I will…” This doesn’t seem like much, but what you’re doing is reprogramming your brain and getting rid of those debilitating words. Instead you will be focused on finding a solution and remaining positive. Again, notice the emotions that are evoked when using the positive statements.
Believe in yourself
Confidence is something that you create within yourself by believing in who you are. It is the assurance you have in yourself, and in the powers or abilities that you possess. If you do not believe in yourself how can you expect others to? Know that you are capable of success and don’t let your mind trick you into thinking that you will never accomplish your goals. Spend a few moments now thinking of all the successes you have had to date and vision the successes that you will have in the future.
About the Author
Sandra Hinshelwood is a small-business coach and mentor working with new business owners. Through her coaching and online programmes she has helped her clients to increase their confidence, manage the transition from employee to business owner and live a more authentic life.
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